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Kire

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Nerding out a little (Rant) [26 Apr 2008|03:30am]
[ mood | angry ]

I've kinda just lost all credibility for the gaming community because it seems every major electronic publishing company has given the game GTA IV a perfect 10/10. Now I can understand a game being fun and all, but a 10?!? For a GTA game?!?!? Its retarded! I mean, sure, I bet it will be fun and all but to compare a game that's not even out yet to the greatness that was Nintendo 64's Zelda title is pretty absurd. I read stuff that said its story was "oscar quality" but that's a load of bull because the story's in GTA are basic gangster flick stuff and are all about promoting the "American dream" and "Engaging in debauchery" and all that jazz. Graphics in the game look alright, but best original art? The entire game's city is BASED OFF OF NEW YORK. There's nothing original about that! And they say it has a good soundtrack......Its all licensed music. Once again, no originality. If I wanted LICENSED music, I'd turn the music OFF on my game and just listen to my CD player or the radio (even though I hate the radio). So yes, gameplay may be amazing in the game and its true that it is highly amusing fighting random pedestrians, but gameplay alone does NOT equivocate into a perfect score. So either money's exchanged hands or everyone's ideas of what a good game is are being thrown out the window.
You wanna know what a good game was? Check out Super Mario Galaxy, Bioshock, Okami, or the Jak and Daxter Series to name a few. Now THOSE deserve 10's more than any garbage GTA could turn out. I respect the game for possibly being amazing, but original, masterful and perfect? Not so much.
Then again, my attitude on video games is pretty much completely negative as of late and I see myself outgrowing said interests in the near future and embracing reading/writing altogether. But more on that later.
Right now, I need sleep. G'night.

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Nice breath of fresh air. [13 Mar 2008|12:32am]
[ mood | happy ]

Well, so far this year's spring break has managed to top last year's in spades everyone. Of course that's not too hard when you consider that last year's consisted of my (then) g/f breaking up with me randomly on the spot and me spending the rest of my week trying to enjoy myself with friends, and crying while eating ice cream and watching anime (I know, I know, pathetic). But this week's been lovely, and I think its so far been vacation time well spent. I've had next to no stress this whole week and its been a very optimistic time for me so far.

I got to spend 3 days with Amy and had a loverly time with her. It was mostly time spent just hanging out at her house. We're both official cuddle whores so we did that quite a bit, but we did manage to get out of the house a few times to go walk along the bay area, or sit back and watch the ocean on a dock while talking. We even went biking around the city and stopped at a nice ice cream shop/coffee place. Their iced coffee was EEXCELLENT! =D. It was time well spent I think, and while I'd have loved to have stayed the whole time, I knew that would be unfair to her family as well as mine. Besides, I do have stuff I need to accomplish here.

One thing I do like though is that when I visit Amy in Tampa, her family is always so friendly towards me. Its not her spring break this week so she still had a 2 hour long history class with her brother on Tuesday, so she had to go to that, and her mom was out and about so I had to spend 2 hours with her dad in the house. This made me feel slightly awkward, not because me and Amy have done anything, but just because...well...its her dad. But he was really cool and we talked a lot about his work with the government, politics, and pop culture stuff. It was extremely nice, and when I left today, he gave me his card with his office phone, basically saying that if I ever needed anything, he'd be available. Meanwhile, her mom continues to buy me breakfast whenever I visit (She knows I like einstein's haha) and her brother and I share the same weird sense of humour and banter back and forth (He makes fun of me for being skinny, I make fun of him for being heavy). Its goes beyond her family though. Her friends generally enjoy my company and I even had a chat with one of her pastors today when I visited the church with her. I just like that feeling of being appreciated by people, and not because I'm crazy or have a good work ethic, but just for being me.

Anyway, emotional rants aside, I'm chilling the rest of my week. I've got thursday through Saturday off before I return to the devil corporation, so if anyone's available for doing something, I'm game. I've got Smash Bros. Brawl to keep me occupied, but video games are only so fun when you're on "vacation" and I'd rather do something more productive with my time. I think I'm gonna hit up the bookstore for a few hours tomorrow and do some reading, but who knows.

Anyway, that's all for now. I hope everyone's doing well and I'll see you all on the flip side =P

~Erik~

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Let me sleep, blast it all!! [25 Feb 2008|02:09am]
Sometimes, being nocturnal sucks.

I just thought I'd let you know.
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Huzzah, Senor Kire is still alive? [07 Jan 2008|12:28am]
[ mood | crazy ]

I forgot this thing even existed?!?

Christmas is over, of which I am glad. I survived another year of retail hell and with the worsed possible staffing imaginable. Luckily, my co-workers and I are like one big, happy, dysfunctional family. On the other hand, I'm thinking of leaving Target....It'll be 3 years I've been there in May and I think it may be time to pursue something different. Change is good right?

Amy (girlfriend) and I are doing awesome. She's an intern at a church over in Tampa and our relationship continues to allow us to grow closer. It helps that she's Christian and shares my beliefs in a loving Father and Lord, without all the legalism brought down upon by religion.

I splurged a few months ago and bought an XBox 360. I'm currently playing Bioschock at the moment and loving every minute of it. Its like Ayn Rand philosophy meets Jules Verne meets dystopian fiction, in first person shooter format. So I let the inner nerd out in that regard, while at the same time playing Super Mario Galaxy =)

I'm really broadening my scope of reading material from short stories in "The Bloody Chamber" to long graphic novel epics like "Bone". I'm really gonna start throwing myself into reading this year, and less on video games. I think I made that mistake in 2007. I need to strike a balance.

Seeing as I did next to no writing this past year, I'm committing myself to writing a book. I have plenty of ideas and I'm just gonna run with one until its nice and long and then edit it a bit. Creative Writing class should help push me too.

School starts today (seeing as its 12 in the morning now) and I look forward to that. Other than that, I have nothing to report as of late.

Also, I'm going back to church starting this Sunday. Its been several months now and I fear all my buddies at metro may think that Kire's bit the big one spiritually. But I'm doing quite fine and just need to jump back on the band-wagon with fellowship and stop being such a hermit.

And is it a little weird that a lot of people I know seem to be getting married? I feel so old.

I'll be 21 in 5 months now. Time to break out the Absinthe!

If anyone reads this (doubtful), know that I still check periodically and you're all in my prayers (in one form or another). Perhaps I'll talk to some of you later....Perhaps not.

Hasta La Bye Bye!

~Kire~

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In other news.... [08 Oct 2007|11:36pm]
Do yourself a favor and go see Across the Universe. If you are a lover of music, art, or the 70s, you owe it to yourself to see this movie.

I'd recommend the Jane Austen Book Club too. Yes, this goes for males too.

That is all.
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Well... [07 Oct 2007|02:19pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Pushing Daisies gives me hope that cable programming hasn't completely gone to hell.
Seriously though, you all should check this one out. Very charming television show. I don't even LIKE watching TV anymore and it appeals to me.

In other news, Life is swell:

-School's aight, I have a god-hating professor and a geeky one. Obviously, I prefer the latter.
-Love life goes along smoothly. Girlfriend and I are doing well. Relationship's being kept Godly and we're enjoying the time we do have together every week very much.
-I need to write more. I've got too many ideas in my head and I'm close to reaching an implosion of the imagination. Also, I'm thoroughly hooked on Ray Bradbury and Gothic fiction.
-Fall is here and with it autumn and the lovely atmosphere that comes with it. Halloween is coming around the corner, and I intend to do something about it this year instead of staying home watching Nightmare Before X-mas for the umph-teenth time. I'm thinking a camping trip on Hallow's eve to tell ghost stories around the campfire. Anyone like that idea?
-Work's good, with new friendships with co-workers growing substantially. They've become my surrogate family so to speak. Also, they're dragging me to Halloween Horror Nights this year (Much to my chagrin).
-I haven't been to church in forever and its because I'm too lazy to get up in the morn (I'm a vampire). I know this and I need to change. Its just a bloody shame we don't have an evening service. I'd like that.

Oh, and besides all of this, something's still amiss in my life. Or at least it feels like it.

~Kire~

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Journalling bores me. [07 Aug 2007|11:43am]
[ mood | curious ]

Even now, this sort of thing is starting to become a little lame. I just don't have any desire to chronicle my life anymore, I can keep it stored away in my mind and don't have to worry about a commentary on it later or what have you? I prefer reading a good book or writing fiction to writing about that madness that is my life right now.

Last night was way too unpredictable for my liking and I'll not engage in anything like that ever again. Those of you who want anymore details, ask me about it sometime. I just don't feel like posting personal stuff on a web site for many to read at the moment.

These shattered pieces of my life are proving more difficult to pick up than I originally anticipated.

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In other news! [02 Aug 2007|04:46am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So I keep hearing about all these people going to SFCC, and that just sucks because it keeps making me think of my ex, and since I'm THIS close to being 100% completely and non-chalantly(?) over here, I don't need stupid things like bloody Sante Fe, Gainesville, or comedy central bringing back said memories. I've learned to accept it now, move on, and try to remember the good parts of said relationship and ignore the fact that she basically dumped me over the phone and apparently, that's not the way you're supposed to dump someone.

I'm reading TONS more than I used to, finished the 7th harry potter book in 3 days, excellent read, albeit the epilogue sounded like a freaking fanfiction. Now I'm reading many and varied stuffs. I finished stardust to prepare myself for the movie, and I'm reading a combination of The Phantom Tollbooth, The Worm Ouroboros, City of Saints and Madmen, and On The Cliffs of Madness (If any of those ring a bell, we must talk). They're all excellent, deep, fun to read aloud, and stimulating to the brain and imagination. Writing-wise, I haven't done as much, but I'm getting back in the habit of it slowly and reading's helping substantially.

By the way, I'm getting hooked on animated short films, I'm even considering taking some classes on digital animation because the art form is transfixing me so. For those of you who wonder what the heck I'm talking about, watch the one on my myspace right now to get an idea. True ingenuity I think.

Started back at church again to get my spiritual life in order, and I'm trying to pry open my Bible on a regular basis for small morsels of guidance here and there. Its a nice feeling too, gives me an outlet for a lot of this pent up energy in my heart.

Also, I started an okcupid account, because my myspace doesn't get enough attention. Originally started the account because I liked the tests, but I've started (trying) to correspond to one girl who I seem to have a lot in common with. She's a musician, pretty artsy, mature, old fashioned, 4 years my senior (That makes her 24 for those of you who suck at math), and extremely cute if I do say so myself. Best of all, she's a strong Christian and lives in Orlando! At the very least, I think we can develop a nice, solid friendship, but I won't deny that I am starting to fall for her a little =). We'll see...

Oh, and did I mention I'm attending my best friend's wedding? In AUSTRALIA!!!

And.....I get to be best man. Heck to the yes!

I've got a hunch that though this spring/summer hasn't been that swell, things are gonna turn up in the fall/winter. Which would be loverly.

That is all.

~Kire~

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For something a little more light-hearted. [24 Apr 2007|10:50pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Saw Hot Fuzz with Mr. Jason and Rashid the other day and it was a brilliant movie, not to mean hilarious beyond recognition. I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Plus, spending time with old friends was a nice breather for a change.

School's soon to be over. I think I see a retake of my math class in my future, but then again, I also see the possibility of taking some good philosophy as well. Next semester should be a little easier to manage, due to the fact that I hopefully won't have the events that transpired this semester happen to me again. I've shifted my focus in my life away from a few key things and I think its for the better.

I'm addicted to Touhou Project games right now. They even inspired me to use the title of the genre (Bullet Hell) for one of my stories, and it fits perfectly. The games originate in Japan and are basically shoot-em-ups (Those games where you have one small little ship that fights entire armada's, one bullet hits you and you die) that place a higher emphasis on story than most games of the genre. They're very addicting as the game pits you against dodging HUNDREDS of bullets at once, but the bullets come at you in colorful and elegant patterns, so its pretty engrossing. And did I mention these games are HARD!?! Because that's an understatement. They make Devil May Cry 3 look like child's play! But that's part of the awesomeness of it. The soundtrack, too is a drawing point. And to think these games are all created by one man....

Writing consists of two major projects of mine right now. One is my own doing, writing a book about a dystopian society controlled by an assassin organization (I've decided on calling it HYDRA), and the ragtag group of people that choose to rebel against it. I've got a very distinct feeling I want to communicate with it, while still making it my own. So we'll see. More details and bits of writing on it to be released at a later date.

I'm also collaborating with Zach on a series of stories to be collected in one volume. Its about a coffee shop, independently owned by a Scotsman, run in the backwater part of a city. Details the lives of the different regulars there who all have very unique and different relationships with one another. Such characters include a war veteran, a novelist with a bad case of writer's block, a masochist, a geek girl, a native american jock, a plus size model, serial killer, and welsh corgie, among others. We're having fun with it and making our own little statements through the stories is a nice thing. Should have something in their for everyone folks.

But I'm being coy about letting the prologue slip, but the coffee shop is called McDougall's.

Alright, that's all for now. This is Kire, over and out.

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[22 Apr 2007|11:56pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

I missed church again today. Slept straight through it. 3rd time straight.

I'm really not liking where I've been spiritually lately and its no one's fault but myself. It has nothing to do with my lack of a real social life, nor does it have to do with the fact that I'm close to reaching being a month in single-land again. It doesn't have to do with the fact that I don't care about school much (Though I should) nor is it because the people in the young adult group aren't friendly enough. No, it goes to something a lot simpler than that. And I realized it when I was thinking this morning, cleaning my room.

I don't know God.

Very blunt, simple statement, but I'll have to say its a pretty accurate description. I don't pray as much as I should. My Bible gathers dust. Friendships with strong Christians in my life continue to dwindle. And every day, I feel as though my heart is hardening in one shape or form towards my Christian walk. Like its becoming less real or something.

It makes sense to me now why so many young people fall away once they get out of high school and lose that close knit entwining nature of a youth group. I promised myself I wouldn't be another statistic and look at me now? If I don't get my act together, I will become said statistic. Another log for the book of failures. That'd be lovely wouldn't it?

I realize I filled my heart for the longest time with other people and things, other "gods" if you will, and now that they're seemingly leaving, I'm left with an emptieness that needs to be filled. And I want it to be filled by my Lord and Savior, but I'm finding it extremely difficult to claim something I forced out of myself of my own free will. Its not easy to gain such a relationship immediately. It would require a complete 180 degree turn in my life that would be seen by more than just my Christian brothers and sisters, but people at work, school, and everywhere else in the world. It would mean another destruction of a sinful self and the rebirth of a new Kire, one who loves the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Yet what I find most difficult in this struggle is that I can't do it on my own. This battle I want to undertake, I will not be able to undertake by myself, as the lone wolf. No, I'd need allies, people to watch my back while I dove into the inner recesses of my soul in order to extract the sin that plagues me so and fouls my core. To come before the throne of my savior Jesus in complete submission, face shone to the floor and swear my allegiance to Him again; I'd need Christian friends and mentors to help me reclaim this part of my life.

That thought terrifies me.

From an emotional perspective, I HATE relying on others, and yet, to gain this would require such a sacrifice. But people are capable of flaw, what if they screw up? Then I have to realize though, that people who allow Jesus' love to fill them, don't make the stupid mistakes of an average man or woman. No, they, for however brief that period is, become like Jesus. What better an ally to have in this struggle for my spiritual rejuvenation.

I need to find someone that can keep me accountable, but also that I can keep accountable as well. Part of what I need is a means of being able to focus on someone else besides myself. It may be the other half of what I need in order to grow as a solid Man of God.

I don't know what the future holds, but I embrace it. I'm tired of being the victim. Its high time I took up my birth-right.

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[13 Apr 2007|04:03pm]
Life itself hasn't been treating me too bad as of late. I'm content and calm 95% of the time and I think that's a good thing. Maybe its because my life as become kinda predictable and after a few certain surprises that happened last month, I'm starting to appreciate something a little formulaic once in awhile. I go to school, I work, I go to church stuff when I can, I try to keep my relationship with God above par, I write as much as I can, and I manage to somewhat decent social life. All in all, sure I'd like a few things to be different, but matters like this will come with time.

So classes are almost over, my research paper (and final) is pretty much complete for English, and other than the little bit of work for College Success and the boatload of math hw that's due Tuesday, I'm looking good with that. Nothing mind-blowing really happened at school, save for making a new friend whom I've developed a kindred spirit with, and without whom, I'd probably be VERY depressed and lost right now with my ex-relationship status. All in all, I owe Mr. Steiner a great deal, and we've been sharing frequent talks about everything from women to philosophy to spirituality, usually over a cup of coffee at einstein's or starbucks. I also really like Einstein Bros. Its gotta be like my new starbucks.

We even came up with an idea of starting up an entrepeneurship (butchered that spelling probably) and we're doing research on that as we speak. If it works out, it could be freaking awesome, I tell you.

I'm also returning to my inner otaku by watching old school anime as of late. I've developed a certain attraction for it, especially cowboy bebop. I find the jazzy music inspiring and since there's no real trace of rap (Which tends to trigger thoughts of my ex) I tend to appreciate it more. Its become a constant habit of mine to listen to some good big band music, followed by a blaring trance mix to get into the scheme of things. Besides cowboy bebop, I finished watching Outlaw Star, am finishing up Neon Genesis Evangelion, and am looking at finding Voltron (Yes, voltron).

Writing's coming along well enough. I've been writing poetry mostly (on my myspace) and an occasional story idea (also on myspace). I'm working on one short story right now that evolved into something a little more complicated than what I'd originally envisioned. It should be done by the end of the week if all goes well.

Spiritual walk is a whole entry in and of itself. I'll update on that later.

I'm once again adapting to life as a single. Its rough, I won't lie and thoughts about you-know-who do pop into my head on occasion. Its just hard to get someone out of your thought processes completely, when they took up a great deal of it for the past 6 months. At least I have more money to put towards savings, school, and myself now, though honestly, I wouldn't mind finding someone else. The issue lies in that every female I've been interested in since the break up has either not been my type, or been taken by someone already. However, since I have experienced a relationship, my attitude is at least not emo/depressed about it now, but I'm more so just disappointed. It was nice having someone to express all my romantic energy towards, and now.....I don't anymore.

But perhaps this is God's way of saying I need to focus on other things first, and then when the time is right and I'm completely ready for it, He'll bless me. And that kinda ties into my spiritual walk and some insights I've come to realize. But that will be for next update.

I think I'm gonna go see a movie tonight (By myself, unless someone wants to get some people together). I'm thinking either Aqua Teen Hunger Force, or Pathfinder......Just depends on the mood I'm in.

Alright, I've gone on long enough. Take care everyone.

~Kire~
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[27 Mar 2007|10:27pm]
[ mood | good ]

So let's see. Life's been picking up slowly. Fractured hearts are being mended. Friendships are being rekindled and my walk with God is starting to restablize itself and pick up where I last left off. I'm taking it further than I've ever taken it before, venturing into new terrain, because I've been stagnant in familiar territory for far too long. I need something new, an adventure, a pilgrimage of spiritual proportions. I'm gonna start wrestling with some of my character flaws and dig deep into my heart to see what's really my number 1 priority right now, and if its not my Savior, to rid myself of it and restore Him to His proper place: As my cornerstone and King.

I'm trying to get involved with young adult stuff again. Its taking time but people like Crystal, Steve, Ty and even occasionally Missy make me feel welcome, and I'm trying to return said friendship in kind. Its kinda hard to do when you have a personality type that leans to the reserved and quiet, but I'm managing. Trips to steak and shake, coffee shops, sanctuary and walks into the late hours of the night are always nice and really help you get to know Godly people.

Also, I attended my first party (Though I didn't know that's what it was at the time). Friend at school invited me and failed to tell me there was drinking and such involved. Luckily, the evening wasn't a complete waste as I ran into a few people from Crooms who remembered me and we had a nice chat. I didn't drink or anything and managed to make myself the designated driver and even helped clean up the house I was at when all the other people left. Ironically, it was a pretty neat (if unorthodox) way of showing Christ's love. The girl who hosted asked why I was staying as I didn't know anyone and should've left a long time ago. I simply told her "Because its the right thing to do." and she later found out from my friend that I was Christian and such. Needless to say, a lot of people thought I was pretty cool. I even got to ask one girl out to a movie, which was rather nice.

Of course she dropped the "Let's just be friends" bomb after the first date. But whatever. That's life I suppose.

I don't have my eye on anyone in particular right now. I'd like a relationship, sure. I like the feeling of being able to provide for someone emotionally and please them and it helps me with dealing with all this stupid romantic energy. But I think I need to focus on other aspects of my life before I focus on someone else. Besides, the first relationship I had came out of the blue and it lasted for awhile. Chances are if I don't look, it may happen through God's consent. We'll just have to see. Friends are better right now anyway.

I'm back to writing poetry again, and posting it up as bulletins as I see fit on myspace. Some like them and some don't, but its a good way of expressing myself unconventionally. If I can just start writing stories again though......

Also, I really like the new Vault flavor, Berry Blitz. Thank the Lord for energy drinks.

For now, I'd like to say good bye to those who still read this. I don't know how many people have left this thing, but I know there's probably only 3 people still reading it. Journalling's supposed to be a means of communicating yourself to others. This most of the time allows me to communicate with myself and that's it. I may find a new online community like www.ocremix.org or some other writing community to best communicate with myself.

Until then, the livejournal's a ship I'm going to sink for the time being.

But who knows, maybe one day I'll make a deal with Davey Jones and ask him to rise it from the depths for me. Of course, I'd rather not sell my soul either =P.

Until then, Later Cherries.

~Kire~

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[15 Feb 2007|12:34am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I've come to understand that a steady diet of reading/writing is good for my health. This holds especially true with the works of Ray Bradbury and Clive Barker. I can't get enough of them.

I've also come to the conclusion that a constant thirst for God's Word yields a bountiful harvest for my heart. It rejuvenates me and makes me whole again.

School work however has become a burden. Part of me wonders whether the college life is for me or not. (Megan is going to shoot me for saying that).

Its in God's hands. I'm going to follow this path He's set for me and see where it takes me.

~Kire~

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BEWARE THE GORGATRON [18 Jan 2007|01:00am]
[ mood | weird ]

GORGATRON'S IN LOVE!



SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD!!!



That is all.

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[17 Jan 2007|07:18am]
[ mood | Hahahaha ]

And today I realized something very important.

My social life is non-existant. Like, I haven't hung out with anyone in over 3 weeks.

And I really need a few rounds of church right now. My spirituality is waning and if it drops anymore, who knows what will happen to me?

On a lighter note, its cold again. More Turtleneck wearing for me!

That is all.

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[09 Jan 2007|01:15am]
[ mood | content ]

So I'm back in school now, although I don't know if SCC can be classified as real college life, but whatever. Classes seem enjoyable enough. Professors appear harmless and good-natured for the most part, and other than parking and book purchases being hell on earth, I don't see myself having a great deal of trouble this semester. Oh, and Rachel's in my college success class. Its rather bizarre how that worked out....

So the holiday's now over. I spent plenty of time with Kaylee while she was home and now she's back up in Gainesville and I'm here figuring out what needs to be done in the upcoming weeks. I'm cutting back on work and am hoping to regain some much needed time with God and hopefully try to get more involved with young adult related activities. I think it'd be wise of me to stop being such a social hermit and start getting out more. Although I have become a frequent at Book stores so I guess I'm not that bad....yet.

I've also got one too many books to read after the holidays. Some of these include:

-American Gods by Neil Gaiman
-October Country by Ray Bradbury
-City of Saints and Madmen by Jeff Vandermeer
-Abarat by Clive Barker
-The Stand by Stephen King
-The Way of the Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
-The Book Thief by Markus Zussak
And then there's all the Dark Tower books.....Anyone wanna borrow some books. Apparently, I've got too many.

On the plus side, I got my 3 music cds in the mail the other day and am loving them. One of them, "Project Majestic Mix", is headed by a bunch of video game music arrangers in their 20's and 30's, and the couple in charge are actually two strong Christians. They even sent me a note with my order about how they were grateful I'd ordered something from them. It was really neat and I think I'll continue correspondence with them.

I've also made a stronger friendship with a co-worker of mine at Target. Guy by the name of Sam who works over in the meat department and is one of the wisest men I've met in my life. We've exchanged little bits of conversation whenever we see each other but now its discovered that we're both avid writers and so I'm reading some of his material and he is with mine. Its a budding friendship and I only wish I could find more people my age with this sort of personality.....Sam's in his 30's...But oh well.

On top of this, I found one of my boss' myspaces. It made me laugh.

More to update on at a later date.

~Kire~

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Brainstorming [28 Dec 2006|07:04am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

To my loved ones, far and wide.

If you are reading this, you wish to know what has become of me I imagine. Unfortunately, such an answer will not be found here or anywhere else in your immediate midst for that matter. To find my fate, you will need to dig deeper into my past, present, and future and suck the marrow from this life of mine. I can tell you I am well, despite a few short-comings of my won. I am not in complete harmony with myself, but I am far from discontent. Such knowledge I have learned in my travels and in my talks with leaders, old and young. I have seen worlds that likes of which few will see with their own eyes. Mine are old and not what they used to be, but they still contain much life after what I have witnessed. Age might have caught up with me, but I still long to experience more, to embrace this life of mine. My life is not up....yet, and so I must seize the moment and walk in newfound affirmation of my place in this world, in all worlds for that matter. You are reading this wondering, "What has become of the man who began his lifestyle as a meek and mild individual, unsure of the path set before him." I shall tell you now. I was enlightened. I was met by a King.

He was unlike anyone I'd met before, and despite looking as if he were in his late 40's, the way he carried himself was as one who seemed to have existed for a far longer period of time. His eyes were graying and losing their color, but none of their fire. His expression showed one who had been through many trials, but regret was not shown on his face. His forehead wrinkled upon recognition of me, and when I proceeded to question him of his nature, of his history, I was greeted to a story for the ages. But first I must tell you, the reader, of his home.

Imagine the old castles and citadels from ages long forgotten, built with fine stone and marble and brick. This was this man's house. It was a majestic estate, set overlooking the sea, the sun setting noticeably in the horizon, almost as if he was one who greeted darkness and rose to meet it. The architecture itself was unlike anything I'd ever seen, parts of it reminding me of the old gothic cathedrals from past times, others seemed to come straight from old legends of haunted castles in the far-off regions of the east. And upon walking into this brilliant castle, you were greeted to the scent of fine perfume, not unlike that of love when it first greeted you at your doorstep.

Once you walked in, it was made clear that this was a place that despite being a product of ages come and gone, had held firm and grown to accomodate its guests. There was something both welcoming and also menacing as I stepped into the estate. The walls were laden with paintings that could've been centuries old, pictures depicting such things as nobleman and woman dancing, wars being played out in all their glory, and fantastic views of the countryside. Statues of what looked like former kings greeted you as you descended into the inner sanctum of this "humble" abode. It was all so marvelous, and yet still, there was an....otherworldly atmosphere surrounding this place, something different.

I soon found my way to the master of this glorious citadel of worlds come and gone. I found myself in what appeared to be this man's study. The smell of old books with their worn pages greeted me and as I looked to the walls, I soon realized that this was obviously the room frequented the most. Unlike the rest of the house, it showed no sign of age. I could imagine it looked exactly as it had when it was first construced. The walls were lined with shelves and the shelves held volumes and tomes the likes of which I hadn't seen before. Such knowledge must lay in these and I, being of a scholarly sort, could feel the excitement welling up within me. This lord was no doubt a lover of the written word as I was and it filled me with much happiness to be greeted with such fortuitous news. I could almost hear these books, speaking to me, saying "Come to us, devour our knowledge and wisdom." and I smiled.

My eyes then fell upon this lord of the estate. He reclined in a fine oaken chair, silver hair hiding his face from view as he porred over a manuscript of some sort, scribing God only knows in a fairly hasty manner, as if believing time was of the essence. He wore a fine purple suit, tailored to perfection, I presumed and his desk was piled with papers that no doubt contained whatever ideas or machinations the man had come up with. A beautiful rapier was displayed horizontally at the front of this desk he sat behind, and a glorious arched windown behind him, displaying a view know artist could ever replicate. All this assaulted me in such a way that I failed to soon realize that the King had ceased his writing and was gazing at me curiously, a grin played across his face, and he then inquired of me simply, "What do you seek?". Not a questioning as to why I'd intrude on his home or who I was, not so much as a mention of who he was, but instead interested in skipping the formalities, the small-talk we all dive into at dinner-parties, and instead drove straight into deeper states of conversation. I was thoroughly shocked, to say the least.

But the rest of my letter must wait, I fear, for despite the fact that I must get you caught up in my stories, I still have much to attend to. I can only hope that you'll be able to bare this pause and avidly await my next correspondence. Until then....

My regards,

Byron Howell

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[24 Dec 2006|06:03am]
Merry Christams (Eve) everyone. I have to be at work at 7 and its 12:53 now! Awesome right? I sadly won't be at church and that's disappointing, but silly losers still choose to do last-minute shopping on said day and thus, Target is still open ('til 6 though, so we still get the evening with our families). I have mucho family coming in for the holidays and a girlfriend's birthday to cater too as well, so I should be mighty busy.

Ironically, retail this year really destroyed my love for Christmas. I really think we should move Christ's birthday so to speak to a different day because all the commericalism of this holiday disgusts me. Its remarkable how much people are willing to spend on frivolous stuff that's just going to age and become useless within the next few years. We've kinda destroyed the true meaning of it with all this "Buy your kids every single toy" or "Buy your wife that cute outfit she's always wanted" or "Buy your hubby that huge flat screen so he can spend more time than usual in front of the bloody box". I'm not saying gift-giving and receiving is a horrible thing, but society's taken it to a new extreme and now it seems that's what Christmas is all about. It doesn't matter if you're home with your family for Christmas, as long as your kids get those fancy remote controlled cars they've asked for, they'll be just peachy. I've never worked so much these past few weeks and dealt with so many bratty customers in my whole life. It seems that with every rare sweet guest I run across, there's a psycho 5 more hot on my trail. I REALLY need a vacation.

I get to shrink my availability down substantially, when then I get a new form of stress introduced into my life. Its a little devil called "college"...

Besides all this and getting off my soapbox, I hope everyone has a splendid rest of the year. Hopefully I'll get to see some of you in the near future for some nice hang-out time, prepare to tackle some brand new new year's resolutions, and perhaps get an honest amount of writing done too.

I should be getting to bed now. This is Kire, over and out.
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[20 Dec 2006|06:13am]
Someone know a remedy for Writer's block? I'd be peachy if someone divulged something to bring me out of this stagnant complacency I'm in. I need inspiration, and a push in the right direction.

Any ideas?

~Kire~
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[17 Dec 2006|12:44pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I went and saw the Lion King Musical with my family last night and found it to be one of the most heart-warming and fantastic productions I've ever seen in my life time. Costuming was amazing, the man who filled out the role of Scar was PERFECT (Favorite character) and Zazu made a jab at Target during the performance which brought me to fits of laughter. I can never escape them can I? On the plus side though, I spent a WHOLE DAY with my family, and since we're all so busy, it was such a privilege to be able to enjoy the day with their company. We went to Olive Garden and Cheesecake Factory afterwards and I can thoroughly say that I feel at LEAST 5 pounds heavier, which with my thinness, may be a good thing...

Last 2 days off have been lovely. Kaylee's now home for 3 weeks and I'm taking the opportunity to spend time with her as much as possible. We went and saw The Holiday Friday night and loved it. Highly recommended for couples and singles alike. There's something for everyone in that movie (Something you don't normally get with said "chick flicks"). But what's so wonderful about Kaylee is not what we do together, but how she treats me and I, her. We both share similar quirks and bouts of "oddity" (Is that even a word?!?) and yet her personality can keep me lighthearted enough to where I don't get too serious and my romantic nature allows her to feel beautiful and loved. I'm taking her to church today and I hope she'll enjoy it. She hasn't had too many positive experiences I think with church in the past, but I hope that by going this time, she'll get at least one and maybe God will work something of such an opportunity. =) Be sure to say Hi if you're there two (Which sadly, judging by who reads this, may be 2 or 3.)

Now if I can just get my Christmas shopping done.....

Hasta

~Kire~

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